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“What? What did I do? Was it the insurrection?”

Saturday Night Live‘s Cold Open took us to the Fox and Friends couch for an uncomfortable post-mortem of the midterm elections in which a “red wave” never materialized. 

After Democrats stunningly maintained control of both the House and the Senate, Rupert Murdoch-owned media outlets like Fox News and New York Post immediately turned on their orange savior. As Bowen Yang as co-host Brian Kilmeade put it: “Per a company-wide email we got this morning, he’s dead to us.”

Mikey Day’s Steve Doocy segued, “Nearly every candidate Trump backed lost this week, except for one who’s still hanging on by a thread, Kari Lake!”  

“Hi, and greetings from Arizona, where the average age and temperature is 95,” said Cecily Strong as Lake, calling in with her signature smudged Zoom background that fueled the sketch’s best jokes. 

“Hey, my campaign isn’t dead yet, even though my camera filter makes it look like I’m in Heaven.” And “Who do Arizonans want leading them? Katie Hobbs who is hiding in a basement or me, Kari Lake, who lives right here in the beautiful pool of vaseline and is out there every single day at CVS asking Black customers if they work here.” 

Of course, James Austin Johnson’s Trump could not resist checking in from Mar-a-Lago— even if it was during his daughter’s wedding. “Mr. President,” said Heidi Gardner’s Ainsley Earhardt, “I don’t know how to tell you this. But we have moved on. We can’t have you on the show anymore.”

“What? What did I do?” asked James Austin Johnson’s Trump. “Was it the insurrection?”

“It’s because you lost. Mr. President. We just don’t see a future with you. But we can still be friends,” said Day/Doocy. The three co-hosts wave farewell to Trump as he desperately dangles his “big announcement.” 

“Awkward!” said Day/Doocy. “But we’re finally free!”