“The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City” has always been somewhat different from other shows in the franchise. It deals more with religion. It is more ethnically diverse. Racism has been an issue.
And, in the latest Utah angle, a cast member quits the show because of her family.
The show’s producers had hoped that Angie Harington would return for the upcoming season 4, but she declined — devoting her time to her 4-year-old son Hart, who has been diagnosed with autism. After much consideration, she decides she can’t be a reality show star and a good mom.
“I really underestimated how important it is to have a child with special needs,” she said. “And when you’re doing television — reality TV, especially — there’s a lot of drama.”
In addition to the time she spends away from home filming shows, she worries about why one (or more) of the other housewives is mad at her and what she might have done wrong. How she came in the rooms. “And you only eat and sleep at night,” Harrington said.
Harington has certainly stirred things up the past two seasons of “RHOSLC.” She battled Jane Shah and Lisa Barlow and allied herself with Heather Gay, Meredith Marks and Whitney Rose. And she hoped to share her son’s diagnosis and what it meant to her family, but if she had stayed on the show, she said, “I would have had a drink along with a lot of other things.” I couldn’t give him what he wanted with all my heart.”
She wrestled with the decision for three weeks, consulting with Gay and Marx. “Co-workers wanted me back because they wanted me,” Harrington said with a laugh. “I think it was hard for them. But. They were really supportive. Nobody’s telling you not to spend time with the kid.”
Once she made the decision, she said, “It was pretty easy. I know I made the right choice.
(Manicproject) Rome, Chris Harrington, Hart, Angie Harrington and Coll
Autism diagnosis
Harrington has two teenage sons from her first marriage; She has three children with her husband, Chris, from her first marriage. And they were overjoyed when she got Hart pregnant.
By the time Hart was 9 months old, “he was walking really fast,” Harrington said. He was running at 10 months. “And we’re like, ‘Well, this is different.’ We thought, ‘Well, physically, he’s very mature,’ but then we realized that it was too late to tell.
At 14 months old, Hart was compared to his nephew, who was 10 days younger. (“Only in Utah. Only in the stepfamily,” Harrington says.) Hart wasn’t much of a talker. He didn’t turn around when they called his name. When they take him out in public, he “hits every direction he can and doesn’t even look back.” It was this lack of fear that I never experienced with my other two sons. And it’s very common in autistic children.”
Hart also ran “full speed” into the ponds while visiting the parks. (It’s common for autistic children to be fascinated by water.) “So I was constantly sweating bullets, swearing I’d never let him out again.
She knows Hart is different, but she doesn’t have autism. “I thought he was a very determined boy,” she said. It wasn’t until she brought up Hart’s behavior to their pediatrician, who suggested an autism diagnosis.
This was during the outbreak, so Hart was tested on Zoom, and the results were inconclusive. “So we had to wait another year,” she said. In the year In November 2022, “We took him to the doctor’s office, and they diagnosed him within a few hours. And Chris and I were like, ‘Wait, wait. Aren’t you going to think about this for a while?’ We are not prepared for that.
“It was hard. And you go through the grieving process, for sure. I think I’m still in it. And just when I think, ‘No, I’ve got this,’ I’m still accepting that, ‘No, wait, he’s never going to get married, never have kids.’
(Manicproject) Angie Harington plays with her son Hart.
They are grateful for what they have.
Hart’s future is unclear at this point. His mother said she knew he would be able to grow up, get a job, get married and have children when he was an adult. Or he couldn’t do any of these things.
“Autism is a wild thing,” Harrington said. “You have some kids who run around in circles all day and don’t even look at you or talk to you, and you have other people like Elon Musk. So you never know what autism is like.
She is grateful for what she has with Hart. “Time will tell, but he is verbal. He communicates. He looks at us. He’s going to mess with us,” she said. “We’re so grateful for that, because we know there are some people who can’t even touch their babies until they’re asleep. Which is heartbreaking.
But I don’t know what it was like for him later.
He hopes to bring awareness
Caring for Hart “has completely taken over my life.” So not doing the show,” Harrington said. “I’ve taken this opportunity to raise awareness, because I know from personal experience that awareness helps people with autism — and it helps caregivers, too.”
She said she “wrestled” with the idea of going public, eventually saying, “I’m somewhat of a public figure, and people are going to know.” I can also become an advocate to help these children have a better life. … My husband and I have the means and connections to make a difference. And I don’t keep it private and I don’t weigh it down.”
She hopes that by going public with her son’s autism, she can encourage other families to get their children diagnosed and treated as soon as possible.
Currently, she’s doing interviews like this to spread the word about what it’s like to have a child with autism—though, as she understands, every child with autism is different.
“I will continue to help in any way I can. “Maybe it’s because I grew up in a Utah culture that’s so service-oriented,” she says. “That’s always been very important to me – when you’re given a lot, you have to give a lot back.”
(Also, she immediately admits that she “has the luxury of not wanting to work. I understand that not everyone has that.”)
Harrington recently joined the board of the Melissa Nelleson Center for Autism at Utah Valley University, which supports scholarships for students with autism.
“My husband has calls in the business community here in Utah, especially in technology,” she said. “So we’re going to start trying to raise money for them and help students get more scholarships.”
She said she hopes to encourage others to be more patient and understanding of families with autism.
“I have PTSD from the plane ride” because Hart has “an absolute meltdown, throwing his arms around and punching the seat in front of him.” And people are turning around and saying, ‘Keep your baby away from me,’” Harrington said. “I want people – adults or children – to understand that when they do this, it’s not always what meets the eye. Usually it is not a lack of discipline. These people are dealing with real sensory issues.
Due to Hart’s flight problems, the family has stopped traveling as usual. “But it’s okay. It’s something I’m still grieving, but I’m accepting it,” she says.
She points to an essay by Emily Pearl Kingsley that paraphrases the experience of raising a disabled child: You spend years dreaming and planning a trip to Italy, and instead you find yourself in Holland. “And Holland is not as fast or exciting. It’s not as glamorous,” Harrington said. “But you start going, ‘Holland the beautiful flowers, Holland the windmills.’ That’s my new normal. And I embrace it for all the beauty and all that it is. But the adjustment is really challenging. It’s really challenging.”
She also hosts television and podcast shows. “Now, like I said, I don’t have time. And so is the life of any caregiver, whether your child is neurotic or not,” Harrington said. “These opportunities are amazing, and we’ll see where they lead. But I have to wait until the dust settles a bit.
“If my son gets into this treatment program and gets into a regular or even an autistic elementary school and thrives there, maybe I have more time to look at some of these options. Time will tell.”
She answered
In the year In 2020, there were rumors that Harington would be one of the regulars on “RHOSLC.” But that was never true, she said.
“My first instinct was, ‘Don’t do it.’ And there are times when I go, ‘Yeah, maybe I should have heard that,’” she said with a laugh. But then I had friends who tried to encourage me on the show.
Barlow “really tried” to get Harington to audition for Season 1, but she declined. “I was pregnant, and it didn’t make any sense,” Harrington said. “So, Season 2, I was like, ‘Okay, let’s go.'”
(Ironically, she and Barlow have since had a huge falling out and are no longer on speaking terms.)
Harington was surprised when she was cast as a “friend” in Season 2. She thinks it’s “fun” and “brings opportunities.” She hopes it will be a “powerful platform” to raise awareness about autism.
After two seasons as a Housewives “friend” — a recurring role that didn’t feature her in every episode — Harington’s decision to turn down the producers’ invitation to return was a “tough choice.”
“They came to me and said, ‘We’d love to have you back,'” Harrington said. “And we want to share your son’s story with them, because I told them what’s going on. They are also to be commended for their willingness to create awareness.
But in the end, she decided that she needed to devote her time to her family.
(Manicproject) Angie Harington plays with her son Hart.
“I’m not going to get those years back,” Harrington said. Hart is in therapy 35 hours a week. “As far as neurotypical kids to catch it. So I always knew I would be home.
Also, “brain power, sure. Because the older I get, the more tired I get. You only have a room to occupy.” And the show was “taking away from what I should be focusing on right now.
She has many questions.
Despite her extensive research on autism, Harrington doesn’t pretend to be an expert. She is still trying to figure out what is best for her son.
“There’s a constant pressure of ‘Am I doing everything right? Am I eating the right food? Am I doing the right treatment?'” Harrington said. “The pressure is endless.”
She said she realizes that some experts believe children can never get out of mediation, while others believe they can.
“I can’t tell you how much research I’m doing, how much I’m studying, how much my brain is fried,” she said. “Or is this just him, and I can’t change it? I will do my best to give you the best setup in life. But, I don’t know, a lot of different doctors are throwing out different ideas,” he said.
Family ties
Harington didn’t leave “Real Housewives” just because of her young son, but because of the rest of her family as well. Her 15-year-old son Rom said, “Mom, you’re always on the phone with the manager. You are always on the phone with your friends – other housewives and producers. ‘I want you to spend more time with me,’ she said. “After he said that, I was like, ‘I’ve got to hit the brakes for a minute here.’
She emphasized that she is making the decision for herself, and does not mean any criticism of other housewives.
“Other women are in a completely different situation. I would never judge them for doing the show,” Harrington said. “If it’s good for their lifestyle and their family, that’s great. It just doesn’t work for me. … I think the pressure is the next level, and I always feel like I’m not good enough. I feel like I’m falling. [Hart] Or my other children or my husband. Now that I’m spread so thin, I feel like I can’t take care of myself properly.”
Still, she doesn’t regret her time on “RHOSLC” over the past two seasons.
“I try not to live with regrets, because I believe that every journey in life teaches something,” Harrington said. “Now it’s given me a platform to talk about autism. I have to find the silver lining, because there’s nothing else to do.”
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